Saturday, October 25, 2008

The opportunity to depend on God

Recovering from surgery, and indeed months of treatment, is such a prolonged process, requiring sometimes more patience than it appears I have access to. I grow so weary of being weary... But I have actually done a few little jobs today, and required a bit less pain medication. God is good to give me little signs of improvement!

But I long to be able to work all day without having to take medication or naps. This leaves me wrestling with my impatience. Sometimes it manifests itself in anger at those around me-- the very people who are serving me the most. Then I need to get on my knees and repent of that. More often, I just feel discontent and uneasy. Then I have to struggle with the truth that Christ is sufficient for me. My worth can't be found in what I do, but in what Christ did for me. This sends me to my knees again, begging and demanding God to be sufficient for me, as He has promised, to get me through the next hour, or the next night.

Plenty of time on my knees is a good thing in the end. Being at the end of your own strength is good place to rediscover the power of God. But usually I would much rather be self-sufficient and independent. Isn't God good to break me of that horrible habit and give me such opportunities to trust Him?

1 comment:

Shannon said...

This is something I'm learning (and struggling with) too...though, admittedly, my circumstances are different. In fact, I wrote a little about it just a couple of days ago. :)
Praying for you, and that your continued recovery would be quick and smooth.