Today has been one of those days...
My scan reports weren't horrible, but they weren't what we wanted, either. The pesky lymph nodes that were problematic last spring, and caused me to have my second surgery, have become slightly more pesky over the last 6 months, growing a little, and becoming more "active" on the PET-scan. So my oncologist is sending me to a thoracic surgeon next week to discuss the merits of removing one or more of the nodes from near the area where my trachea splits into my bronchial passages. This would likely be done either through a procedure called a mediastinoscopy, or possibly a bronchoscopy. Part of our job when we speak to the surgeon will be to get his take on the need to proceed immediately or not, and the best route to take to figure out what these lymph nodes are doing.
Though I am well down this cancer road, days like this kind of take the wind out of me still. My brain gets fuzzy, and feels like I'm on overload. And through the fog I have to fight to be reasonable, contact a myriad of doctors offices to nail down details, and keep putting one foot in front of the other in life. And I need to fight to trust God. I can feel that little hint of panic and despair trying to leap up around the edges of my heart, and I must kill it or be killed by it.
Despite this, all around me are signs of God's providential care. Perhaps the most obvious is that Dave and I had already planned to get away for a few days this weekend. So as we try to process and pray about the next step I need to take medically, we get to be together in the mountains of Southern Colorado, enjoying the fall change of leaves, and maybe experience our first snow. God has provided us with some time to reflect and pray before the next set of changes occur-- whatever they might be. That is a sign of real grace.
So, I don't really know what the future holds, but as the old saying goes, I *do* know who holds the future. Please join us in praying:
*that we and our medical team will be wise in plotting a course
*that I would be able to trust and honor God in this
*that whatever is causing this would be either benign or easy to treat
*that this weekend Dave and I would be able to encourage and uphold one another, and enjoy some excellent time with the Lord as well as each other
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7 comments:
Chris, you are so dear to so many of us. We are praying for your health and for your continued strength through this dreadful trial.
With Christian love and sympathy,
Teri
Chris, have a beautiful weekend with your wonderful husband andknow that many are praying for you for encouragement and peace. Thank you for your concern about my little health scare this week--all seems well and I'll write on Classed about that in just a minute if you want to look for the post later on. (This is Friday evening about 10:20 Eastern.)
Precious Chris... I am lifting you up to our almighty God. I am SO GLAD you can get away and enjoy the beauty of God's creation with your dear husband for a few days. I am praying you will experience the comfort and peace your God and your husband can offer you in this heart wrenching time.
With much Christian love,
Lyn
Chris, we will be praying for you and Dave.
((hugs) Prayers here. Jean
Chris,
I was also gone all weekend visiting my husband in TN albeit with a car load of children, not so romantic or peaceful but the trees in TN are gorgeous. I was so sorry to read this on my return. You are in my prayers daily and I feel great empathy for what you are facing.
Life is hard but God is good.
Hope you had a grand weekend with your husband, Chris. God's gifts are good! I am praying for you this week.
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