Reflections on the day

It is the close of a busy day. By 11:00 this morning, I had gotten my blood drawn, gotten my flu shot, and had a hysterosonogram. Thank you to all who prayed for that procedure. It was a bit unpleasant, but relatively quick, and very bearable. And the end result is that there is already some thickening and irregularity of my endometrial wall due to the tamoxifen. They want me to have the procedure done again in about a year. I am wondering what my chances are of my NOT getting uterine cancer if there are changes after only 4 months on the drug. That question must wait until I see the oncologist tomorrow. I hope she will also have my scan reports and blood work for discussion.

The morning left me tired, but I had time for a quick nap before directing chorus and having try-outs for ensemble. I love being with my students. Even when I am exhausted, and I have to do difficult things (like turn down kids who would love to sing in the ensemble), I am energized by being with my students. What a blessing, and what a lovely distraction from the cares of life. In God's providence, He has provided just what I needed, as always.

This morning Terry Stauffer blogged about the providence of God. Terry and his wife, Juanita, are the friends whose daughter was killed in September. Terry said:

There have been many evidences of God's prior work of preparation. Some may be offended that I would even talk like this, but a God that does not know the future or who is not sovereign is no comfort at all.

You can read his entire, excellent post here.

We, too, have seen God providing for us, and making a way, before the trials and tribulations hit us. I knew, for instance, that He was preparing me for something weeks before I was diagnosed with my cancer. He was calling me close through the things I was reading, in prayer time and reading with Dave, and in the music He was sending my way in seemingly random ways. When Dave's cancer hit us almost 15 years ago, we had been going through Henry Scudder's The Christian's Daily Walk. God knew we needed to be prepared, and He went before us.

If God is sovereign, He is sovereign over my cancer now and in the future. The gospel will be just as true on a day I receive devastating news as it was on a sunny, lovely day full of blessing. I pray that in my times of pain, either physical or emotional, that I can wait on Him still, and see his mighty hand of Providence making a smooth place for my feet. And may I say with Job, "Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him..."