God's process

Two days ago it was spring and blooming things were starting to look lush and promising.  Today it is snowing.  If there is one truth about the climate that everyone can agree upon, it is that it changes in unpredictable ways.

I am also in a season of walking with friends as they lose their parents.  That is partly due to my own age rising to the mid-fifties.  And as it does, my body changes in ways I don;t appreciate.  Most of us don't like these changes.  The one constant, perhaps, in this veil of tears, is change.

And then I read this yesterday:

 "...[H]e calls us to a life of constant work, constant growth, and constant confession and repentance. Making us holy is God's unwavering agenda until we are taken home to be with him. He will do whatever he needs to produce holiness in us. He wants us to be a community of joy, but he is willing to compromise our temporal happiness in order to increase our Christlikeness. Any time we find ourselves in difficulty or trial, it is easy to think we have been forgotten or rejected by God. This is because we do not understand the present process. God is not working for our comfort and ease; He is working on our growth. At the very moment we are tempted to question his faithfulness, he is fulfilling his redemptive promises to us. After all, it's not like there are only some people who really need to change. Change is for everyone, and God is always at work to complete this process in us."

~How People Change by Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp, pp. 6-7

Indeed.  It struck me to the heart.  When I rail against change, I am railing against and failing to understand the important process God is working in me or others.  There is a whole theology of suffering in this one paragraph.

So today I am trying to rejoice, but hold joy lightly; trust in God's process when I don't see it or understand it.  I hope you will come along with me, Gentle Reader, and watch what God will do.

Health Update: I'm almost one in a million...

The windings and turns of my recent health struggles have made it difficult to post updates here of late.  It has been difficult to know what to say as we have gone round and round about a diagnosis for what ails me and how to treat it.  And it has been difficult to find the time amid the myriad of appointments, tests, and travel.  But a little clarity is emerging slowly, so I can now give at least a partial update, and some specific prayer requests. I know many of you are faithful prayer warriors, Gentle Readers, because I see answers to those prayers, and God has been so very good to me in this process.

My breast cancer remains non-existent, praise God! I continue on the drug arimidex to keep my recurrence chances low.

My eyes have continued to be bothersome, and here we have made some progress. We have a firm diagnosis of a rare auto-immune disease called birdshot chorioretinapathy.  This is rare enough that I'm not really one in a million, but there are only about 4 cases in every million people. I will be starting immune-suppressant therapy this weekend, and hope to stop progression of the disease.  Left untreated, this always leads to blindness, but treatment with various drugs can often halt the disease's progress.  And I have found  an excellent physician and we have caught the disease very early. So my hopes are high that we can get this under control.

My continuing fatigue remains mysterious and discouraging.  I also have some funky blood work, and neither it nor the fatigue is explained by either the eye problem or the arimidex I am taking.  So my rheumatologist is continuing to monitor blood work, and the possibility of sarcoidosis is not yet off my table. But the Lord is holding me, and He gives me hope in Him, no matter what the crook in my lot is.  (And if you want to understand what I mean by the crook in your lot, or the bend in your path, and how we ought to respond to such things, listen to the excellent sermon by Rick Steele here.)

If you have not grown weary of praying for me, here are some specific prayer requests:

• Please pray that I would tolerate the immune-suppressant well, with few side effects, or that I would be able to bear what side effects I have.
• Please pray that the drug would be very effective in treating this disease.
• Please pray for the fatigue I feel to lift.  A friend who is also an autoimmune disease sufferer recently sent me this link which does a good job of describing the fatigue if you are interested in understand more about those of us who look fine but are fighting illness. (Thanks for the link, Becki! Dave and I now talk in "spoonfuls".)
• Please pray that my immune system would be restored, and that I would not continue down the path of constant illness.  And if God determines I need to travel that road, please pray that I would honor Him there, and figure out what it means to glorify and enjoy Him on that journey.

Thank you, Gentle Reader.  I am grateful for you!

Being safe for sad people...

Thanks to my friend Randy over at Somber and Dull, I listened to a wonderful lecture here  at Gospel Coalition today. It was a workshop given by Nancy Guthrie, whom I don't know anything about, but who gave an excellent workshop on how to minister to those who are suffering, and the marks of a church that accomplishes such a ministry.  It is challenging and true.  I challenge you, Gentle Readers, to listen, and examine your own heart.  May we be safe friends for sad people, and have churches that are safe for sad people.