Living in-Between

 Right now, there is a large "For Sale" sign in my front yard.  And in a yard down in Tucson, Arizona, just a few steps away from my youngest son and his family, is another "For Sale" sign, with a little "Pending" sign attached to it.

"Pending".  That's how I feel my life is right now.  Pending.  I pack and clean and go to the doctor and wait.  Wait for this house to sell.  Wait to settle into a new one.  Wait to be close to children and grandchildren.  Start the process of closing this chapter of our lives after 41 years in New Mexico.  Try to imagine the next chapter in Arizona.  But I'm not actually doing either this life here, or the one in Arizona.  I'm "pending."

This in-between time, not what we anticipated but obviously what the Lord intended all along, has been a challenge for me and for my dear husband.  While we try to keep doing what we need to do here, many of our responsibilities are now in the hands of others.  That is how it should be.  But we don't know what the timing of this move is going to be, or what the Lord will call us to do once we get there.  It is like I am in-between two worlds, not really belongong to either at this point.  

While I see lots of spiritual lessons here, I don't much like this in-between.  God has so richly provided for us in so many ways, I have no complaints.  But still this seemingly meaningless cycle of packing, cleaning, and repeating leaves me less content than I could wish.  I am working to stay grateful and let my requests be made known with thanksgiving, and remember that every moment is a gift, and every interaction, whether with neighbors, childrens, potential house buyers, or realtors, is a an interaction with am imortal soul.  But mostly, it feels like I'm pending.

Lord, help me to live each moment in the light of your love and the truth of your word.  Help me redeem every moment, even the in-between ones, to your honor and glory. 

Praying for you to live fully in your moments, Gentle Reader.  And please pray for me to do the same.

Christmas Letter 2022

 

 Cradle song, come along,

See with angels' surprise

as the mystery unfolds

to longing eyes.

Dear friends and family,

As we approach Christmas and a New Years, we can see that 2022 has been a year of great change, wonder, and surprise for us.  And God has been faithful to us through it all!  We pray, Gentle Reader, that you, too, have seen the wonder of the mystery of God with us, Emmanuel, in this weary world.

Emma, Ada, Ben, Elsa, Dave, Chris, Tim, Elijah, Nikki, Jack
Eliana, Everett, Carys, Ezra, Shirley

By far the biggest challenge, change, and mystery for us this year involved Dave's mom Marilyn, and her final days of sojourn in this world.  In September of 2021, Marilyn went onto hospice here at home with a heart in failure and a series of TIAs and other strokes, with the promise of more in the future. It began almost a year of constant adjustment as her health and mental abilities declined, and we sought to allow her to die in her own bed as she wished to do.  With the help of a wonderful hospice nurse and aide,  and much grace from God, we weathered many minor and major strokes, and adjusted to each new situation.  It was a weary road, but the right road for us.  

Marilyn in June, 2022

On August 18th, Marilyn experienced a TIA and fell, breaking both her left hip and left shoulder.  What followed was 10 days of incredible pain for her if she had to move, and full-time intensive care-giving for us.  On August 28th, with us singing and praying and holding her hands, Marilyn entered the presence of her Savior, in her own bed as she wished.  And we completed a mission that began for us when Marilyn moved in with us 18 years before.  We gathered as a family to celebrate her life in October.  You will find her obituary below.  

5 of the 6 Finnegan siblings: Kethleen, Michelle (Terry was unable to join us), Jon, David, and Paul.

The Jon Finnegan representatives: Jess, Matt and Viktor; Rebecca and Jon; Nick

These cousins love each other: Emma and Ada

Tiny hands, born of man,

fashioned all that we see,

and they'll ransom us

nailed to a tree. 

Our year was also filled with the tiny hands of grandchildren during several wonderful family times.  Most happened in our home since we could not leave Marilyn, but we were also able to get help for some respite care and get away.  We enjoyed a trip to Arizona in January/February, celebrated Elijah's adoption long-distance in April while Ada was visiting here for her 10th birthday trip,  celebrated with Tim and Nikki here over the 4th of July, travelled to Silver City for one of Tim's bike races, and in early August, Dave and I had a lovely week's respite trip to southwest Colorado.  All were beautiful and joyous times of rejoicing in family and in God's good provision to us.

A winter hike and picnic outside of Tucson.

A trip to the arboretum with the Phoenix crew.

Our seven amazing blessings: Eliana, Ezra, Everett, Elijah, Ada, Carys, Emma.

Elijah is officially ours!

Ada in the outfit I made for her birthday.

Again, our seven blessings:  Carys, Ezra, Ada, Emma, Everett, Eliana, Elijah.

Tim, in serious biker mode.

A windy picnic near the finish line.

Fourth of July festivities with the Tucson Finns, the Browns, and the Hansons.

A picnic in Albuquerque near the museums.

Kayaking in Colorado

The falls in Ouray, CO.

With my beautiful friend Tina at her lovely home in Ouray.

Overlooking Molas Lake in CO.

One of several small alpine lakes we enjoyed north of Durango.

Come with the shepherds and ponder.

Come with the wisemen, adore.

Come with the mother, enfold the Lord of all

in humility here in a stall. 

  

After Maril;yn's memorial service, we finally celebrated Cousin's Camp VIII here in New Mexico.  It was a time of great joy and fun family togetherness!

Hiking at Pecos National Historic Site

Cousin Camp Crafts

At Bandelier

This year's campers: Everett, Ada, Carys, Ezra, and Emma.

And then, feeling the need to get away and both rest and relax, Dave and I went on a 15-day river cruise in Hungary, Austria, Germany, and the Netherlands from the end of October to the middle of November.  It ended up being both more and less rest than we had planned on,  since Chris got co-vid, and we two were quarrantined to our tiny cabin for 5 days of the cruise.  We still managed to have a wonderful time.  And the ship's kitchen delivered the best meals during our convalescence!

At Melk Abby in Bavaria.

Sailing on the Rhine.

Koln (Cologne), Germany

At Kinderdijk in the Netherlands

Cradle song, come along,

see with eyes born again

Little baby

Salvation of men.

So as we end 2022, we are grateful, and waiting.  Grateful for a race well run, grateful for dear family and friends, adventures and comfort in sorrow.  And waiting on the Lord for His salvation, for His plan for the next season in our lives, and for His healing from injuries old and new.  We appreciate your prayers as we look with eyes born again at His lovely care for us through a bigand busy year.  And we pray for your eyes, too, Gentle Reader. May you see Him in His glory, serve Him fully, and rejoice in His salvation!

With much love, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Chris and Dave

In front of St. Stephen's in Vienna.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Marilyn Annabelle (Webster) Finnegan was born on September 7, 1926, to Amelia (Zacharias) Webster and Jay Webster in Decatur, Illinois. Her father, a World War 1 veteran, died when Marilyn was just ten, and the family moved to Fort Thomas, Kentucky, where Marilyn met George Finnegan, her high school sweetheart and future husband. After George finished his service in World War 2, George and Marilyn married and brought six children into the world. In addition to caring for her family, Marilyn worked in a variety of capacities, spending many years as an executive assistant and as a church secretary. She finished her working career as an office manager at Faith Evangelical Free Church in Milford, Ohio. Marilyn delighted in serving others, caring for her family, and walking with God.

 

Marilyn came to White Rock, New Mexico, in 2004 after the loss of her husband of 56 years, to live with her son David and his family. For the next ten years, until her health made it necessary for her to slow down, she volunteered at Sombrillo Nursing Home and Chamisa School. Marilyn was an avid reader, crossword puzzle enthusiast, and birdwatcher, who also enjoyed crocheting gifts for her friends and family. She remained an active and faithful member of Bryce Avenue Presbyterian Church until she died quietly at home on August 28, 2022, with her family singing her into the arms of Christ. Marilyn was preceded in death by her parents and siblings and her husband George. She is survived by her six children and their spouses: Kathleen Szymanski (Kirk) of Filer, ID; Michelle Fouche (Walter) of Fairfield, OH; Terry Finnegan (June) of Pleasant View, TN; Jon Finnegan (Rebecca) of Russell, KS; David Finnegan (Christine) of White Rock, NM; and Paul Finnegan (June) of Carlisle, OH; and by 13 grandchildren, 31 great-grandchildren, and 4 great-great children. 

 

A memorial service for Marilyn will be held at Bryce Avenue Presbyterian Church on Saturday, October 8, 2022, at 11 AM. A reception will follow in the church fellowship hall. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to one of Marilyn’s favorite charities: Hope Pregnancy Center (https://www.hpcla.org/donate), Prison Fellowship (https://www.prisonfellowship.org), or the Deacon’s Fund at Bryce Avenue Presbyterian Church (e-mail: info@brycepresbyterian.org). 

 

Laying Fallow

 This year my vegetable garden is empty.  An unfortunate three-fold combination of time spent in full-time care-giving, arthritis in one knee, and a very persistent gopher or ground squirrel helped me determine to cut my losses this year, and take a year off. So no vegetable garden for me this year.

Now I look at the empty space outside my window, and am surprised that my first thought is not, "Phew!  Sure am glad not to bother with that!"  Instead, I look at the emptiness and find it a little dismal.  I remember the thrill of the first little seedlings poking through, and watching day-by-day as produce becomes.  And I rather miss it, despite the bugs and droughts, and the hard physical work of weeding and processing.

But there are two ways of looking at an empty garden.  One is simply empty and unproductive.  The other is that it is laying fallow.  When a farmer allows a field to lay fallow, he is giving the land a break-- leaves it unturned to conserve moisture, unplanted to interrupt the insect cycle by not giving them any hosts plants, and allows it to soak in sun and rain and replenish. Perhaps my garden is not empty, but laying fallow.

Sometimes our lives feel empty, too.  Circumstances cause us to be isolated, or interrupt the merry march of daily activity for an extended period of time (maybe for the duration of a virus or the days of an elderly loved one's life).  It feels empty and dismal at times.  But, Gentle Reader, I think this is laying fallow.  Good things are being reinvigorated under the surface, and the medium will be ready to bring forth blossom and fruit in due season.  Scripture tells us that for every thing there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.  There is a time to lay fallow, and a time to produce.   And always, we strive to humble ourselves under the providential hand of a good God who knows the difference better than we do.

And speaking of laying fallow, this blog is often quiet these days.  If anyone is still here on the rare occasions I write, thank you!  Writing always helps me look more carefully and process my journey better.  So thank you if you peek in on my journey.

  

Quote for the day

If the cross be the mere exhibition of self-sacrifice and patient meekness, then the hope of the world is gone.
~Horatius Bonar, The Everlasting Righteousness, p.99

What I'm Reading

In his book on the armor of God from Ephesians 6, Iain Duguid begins by discussing the great need we have for fighting the darkness around us in more than our own strength: we are so weak and the darkness is so great.  I loved this way of summing up the problem:

Of course, adding to the imbalance in this wrestling match is the fact that although our opponents are not flesh and blood, we are.  We are not principalities and powers or cosmic rulers but ordinary, flawed, fallen, flesh-and-blood mortals.  You might think we have no business engaging in this combat; in the language of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, it is hobbits against orcs, an unequal contest.  Yet this is exactly the battle in which we are engaged. Serving in the Lord's army is not an option reserved for those particularly devoted to God.  The choice is not whether you will be a Christian soldier or a Christian civilian but whether you will be a prepared soldier or an unprepared one.  And an unprepared soldier of flesh and blood will not be able to stand against the scale of the spiritual forces ranged against him or her.
~Iain M. Duguid, The Whole Armor of God: How Christ's Victory Strengthens Us for Spiritual Warfare, p.12

What I'm reading: Faith

"...For faith is no work, nor merit, nor effort; but the cessation from all these, and the acceptance in place of them of what another has done,-- done completely, and forever.  The simplest, feeblest faith suffices; for it is not the excellence of our act of faith that does aught for us, but the excellencies of Him who suffered for sin, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God.  His perfection suffices to cover not only that which is imperfect in our characters and lives, but that which is imperfect in our faith, when we believe on His name."
~Hoatius Bonar, The Everlasting Righteousness, pp.74-75

Christmas Letter 2019

The whole clan:  Top: Tim, Nikki, Emma, Ada, Elsa, Ben. Bottom: Eliana, Ezra, Carys, Chris, Everett, Dave 
Thanksgiving, 2019

Greetings family, friends, and Gentle Readers!  2019 is quickly speeding by, and we would be remiss to let such a year go by without sharing the abundant blessings of God we have enjoyed this year.  So here are just a few aspects of 2019 for which we are very grateful:

Family:

We have been blessed with great family time, times of working together, and times of crisis that have caused us to grow and appreciate one another.  In the great family times category, we have enjoyed a winter break in the White Mountains with Ben and family,  several trips to Tucson, a couple visits to Los Alamos from the kids, meet-ups with Dave's sister and brother as they took Marilyn to their homes for visits, a 60th anniversary get-together for my parents with all the Hanson originals, a bike trip in the Gila Wilderness,

a fall cousin's camp at the Grand Canyon, and Thanksgiving all together in Los Alamos.  And Marilyn, Dave and I will head to Tucson for Christmas.  In the working and crisis category, we helped one of my sisters move, got through illness and injury and aging with all parents and watched as they returned to health, rejoiced when Ezra recovered from a particularly hard-hitting bike fall that resulted in a concussion, and when Tim was hit by a truck while bike riding and escaped with only a few bruises and a bent wheel.  How gracious God has been to rescue, save, and revive us over and over again!  Here are a few photos of our family time:

The PHX crew on the swing in our front yard

The Hanson originals in Albuquerque: Anne, Jeni, Chris, Mom, Matt, Dad, Gwen, Jeff

Cousin's Camp V at the Grand Canyon

Carys and Ada playing in the East Fork of the Jemez River

A big city adventure with the Tucson crew

Cheering on Daddy's excellent bike race in Silver City, NM

Cousins

Swinging was a different matter for the Tucson crew at Thanksgiving

Everett has the best belly-laugh

Happy Thanksgiving!

Provision:

As we continue into our second year of retirement, we continue to marvel at the provisions of God.  He has provided for us in every way. We have been able to do some amazing travel to places like Utah and Oklahoma, Germany, Austria, and Hungary, Arizona and Colorado.  According to Google, I have traveled a distance equivalent to going 1.3 times around the world this year (which is amazing and kind of frightening.) And in the ups and down of all these miles, we have been spared serious illness, accident, or castrophe.  And we have enjoyed the journies and God's amazingly beautiful world and people on top of it.  We have an abundance of friends along the road, both nearby and far away. Here are a few photos of some of the places we have been and the people we have seen:

Marilyn and Dave as we visited some petroglyphs outside Canyonlands National Park in Utah

Tim and Nikki in Silver City

Gila Wilderness, NM

Grand Canyon, Arizona

Cruising down the Danube with our friend Pamela

Nuremberg, Germany

Regensberg, Germany

Passau, Germany

Meeting up with Kris and Paula Lundgaard in Vienna

Budapest, Hungary

Health:

Though we have seen our share of struggles this year, we are at a very blessed place with our health.  While Dave still struggles with long-term consequences of his previous treatment, he is now 27 years in remission from stage 4 metastatic melanoma.  That is an amazingly abundant blessing!  He has found some help in dealing with some of the symptoms, for which we are very grateful.  And I found myself just last week explaining to someone that I was a two-time breast cancer survivor , who has been treating an auto-immune disease for the last 7 years, and am now able to at least try stopping some of my medicines because my disease is stable without any flare-ups.  We are awed at God's blessings to us!

So as we look ahead to 2020, what surprises are ahead?  I'm sure there will be challenges, but I know to the core of my being that there will be blessings to meet those challenges, and joy to surround them.  Our prayer for you, dear family, sweet friends, and Gentle Readers, is that you may know the abundance of our good God in the coming new year. May we all see his provision clearly.