On processing our lives and blog comments

We all need to learn how we best process the information and emotions of our lives so that we can deal with them productively. And what a blessing that there is such variety among us as individuals!

My dear husband processes things by running. When he is overwhelmed with information or emotion, he dons his running gear, and in 7 or 8 miles, his mind is ordered and clear and he is ready to deal with life. It took me a few years to understand that this is something he needs to do, and that I, as his wife, can support him in it. Indeed, there are now times when I will suggest (sometimes more graciously than others I'm afraid) that he take a run.

I, on the other hand, being the verbal person that I am, need to process everything verbally. I can do this by talking through things to another person, or I can do it by writing my thoughts down. As I talk or write, I am able to prioritize, order, accept, submit, understand, etc. There have been such a large number of things for me to process lately that even if I had the world's most patient husband, which I just might have, I would wear out his listening skills. The same for my multitude of wonderful friends who are always willing to listen and talk. So, for me, this blog has become an important tool in processing my life.

When Dave is processing his life, he wants space and quiet and time. I, on the other hand, want to talk right now and consider and argue until I've got it all sorted out in a couple of different ways. As you can imagine, this has been a good opportunity for us to be other-centered in our marriage. Isn't God good to bring us together with a person very different from us so we can learn this? I try to give Dave space; he tries to have patience as I prattle on incessantly. I can't just speak to an empty room, because, unlike my introvert husband who craves the solitude, I am an extrovert, who at least needs a nod or a grunt from time to time. And I think that is why this blog works better for me than a journal or diary: I get feed back from many of you who read it. I get to spill my guts, and process my affairs, and you get to figuratively nod and grunt. Some of you leave comments here on the blog, some call or e-mail me, or write snail-mail, or mention it to me when you see me. These affirmations help me to feel connected and not alone, heard and supported. So thank you for all of you who read and send nods and grunts my way. They make such a difference!