Tuesday, January 06, 2009


Yesterday I saw my oncologist. We scheduled mammograms and blood work for March, and C-T scans for April. We discussed my continuing fatigue, and much to my surprise, she said, "Oh, you should be recovered from all your treatment and surgeries. Do you think this could be post-treatment depression?" I explained to her that I don't feel depressed, but I *do* feel a great amount of fatigue, causing me to HAVE to nap every afternoon. She surprised me again by saying, "Well, fatigue is the main symptom of sarcoidosis. I think it's time we got you to a specialist." Sarcoidosis is that auto-immune disease that they discovered in my pesky lymph nodes in October. I had hoped to blissfully ignore it, but I have to say that this idea came as a bit of a blow. I guess I wanted her to say something like, "Give it more time, and you'll see improvement." But no. Done with one disease and on with the next. I have made a commitment to fight for joy in Christ during this new year. And it is being tested right off the bat.

As Dave and I were preparing to read through Calvin's Institutes in the course of the year, we read an introductory essay by J. I. Packer. Among many good and interesting things, Packer said:
Shaping all its [the Institutes of the Christian Religion by Calvin] elaborate doctrinal discussions, with their rigorous biblicism, their strong assertions of divine sovereignty, and their sharply focused trinitarianism,is a persistent orientation to the conscience, a contagious awareness that we do and must live our lives coram Deo, in the presence and sight of the searcher of hearts, and a drumbeat insistence that sound belief must express itself in pietas, faithful—that is, faith-full—obedience to, and worship of, the Father and the Son through the Spirit.

That idea of living "coram Deo"-- before the face of God-- is a good one to remember. May I respond to all things, the good and the bad, the joyful and the trying, as if I believe God is there and He is watching. May I live in the same joy He has provided no matter what my circumstances. Would you pray for me, Gentle Readers, that I may do so?

And if any of you know anything about sarcoidosis, please drop me a line...


Gail and Keith said...

Chris, I have no personal knowledge of this disease, but here are a couple links of many that may be informative. No doubt you've already researched. G




Cindy Marsch said...

I'm sorry for your discouragement in this season, but consider that as "underlying disorders" tend to crop up during pregnancy and at other times the body may be in particular stress, so your sarcoidosis may have become more troublesome because of your recent surgery/radiation stresses. The good news about that is that with continued nutritional and exercise support, you should be able to get a lot better! That's what I'm praying! :-)