Sing a new song

Today was one of those tender, vulnerable days right from the start. I am not sure why exactly. But I knew from the time I woke up that I would be on the edge all day, emotionally speaking. It likely had something to do with me doing too much yesterday, and not getting enough rest. Add to that the fact that Dave was headed out of the house early (for prayer with the other elders of our church, as they do every Wednesday morning), and then out of town, while I would head to radiation treatments and have an unpleasant test tomorrow afternoon. I was just feeling the loss of Dave's support keenly, and the weariness of my current journey. I cried when we prayed together this morning. I cried when Dave left. My strain must have showed as I walked and worked out with dear friends, who love me enough to tell me when my tone of voice is too much, and I cried in the bathroom at Curves. Then I cried part of the way down to Santa Fe. *Sigh* I kept asking the Lord to be sufficient for me, to lift my countenance. But it was just one of those days.

Then Tim called. He and Nikki have decided to take the job offer in Tucson, and there is great rejoicing over that decision being made. This was a little ray of encouragement! I called Dave to tell him, and he asked, "Would you like me to make the rest of your day?"
"Of course," I replied. He then explained to me that the two people who were to give presentations at the meeting he was organizing had both had to cancel due to last-minute health problems, so he was busy canceling his meeting, and he was staying home after all.

And then I really cried! But this wasn't a "sorry-for-myself" cry, or even a "weary-beyond-belief" cry. It was the tears of joy that the Redeemed of the Lord cry when He cares for them in their need, and exceeds all of their expectations. God, in His awesome providence, said, "I love you and here is your husband to be my hands and arms to you these next couple of days." It doesn't seem to matter to Him that most of my earlier crying was exactly the "sorry-for-myself" and "weary-beyond-belief" kind, with a big dose of dramatic self-pity mixed in for good measure. He delighted in me enough to meet my puny, selfish need of support. That's the kind of God He is.

This all brought me in mind of Isaiah 42, especially the first 16 verses:

1Behold my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen,in whom my soul delights;
I have put my Spirit upon him;
he will bring forth justice to the nations.
2He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,
or make it heard in the street;
3a bruised reed he will not break,
and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.
4He will not grow faint or be discouraged
till he has established justice in the earth;
and the coastlands wait for his law.

5Thus says God, the LORD,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spread out the earth and what comes from it,
who gives breath to the people on it
and spirit to those who walk in it:
6"I am the LORD;I have called you in righteousness;
I will take you by the hand and keep you;
I will give you as a covenant for the people,
a light for the nations,

7to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.
8I am the LORD; that is my name;
my glory I give to no other,
nor my praise to carved idols.
9Behold, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth
I tell you of them."
10Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise from the end of the earth,
you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it,
the coastlands and their inhabitants.
11Let the desert and its cities lift up their voice,
the villages that Kedar inhabits;
let the habitants of Sela sing for joy,
let them shout from the top of the mountains.
12Let them give glory to the LORD,
and declare his praise in the coastlands.
13The LORD goes out like a mighty man,
like a man of war he stirs up his zeal;
he cries out, he shouts aloud,
he shows himself mighty against his foes.

14For a long time I have held my peace;
I have kept still and restrained myself;
now I will cry out like a woman in labor;
I will gasp and pant.
15I will lay waste mountains and hills,
and dry up all their vegetation;
I will turn the rivers into islands,
and dry up the pools.
16 And I will lead the blind
in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known
I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do,
and I do not forsake them.

I am not much of a theologian, but this seems to me to clearly and beautifully point out who God is, and who we are. I was one bruised reed today, and He saw to it that I was not crushed. He takes me by the hand, and makes darkness light before me. And He is the bringer of justice, the Maker of covenants, He who will not forsake His people.

So, on the tender and vulnerable days, I can trust such a God. I can trust Him to providentially intervene on the days I need Him to, and to strengthen and lift me on the days when He doesn't intervene, but lets me walk without such a visible reminder of his care for and delight in me. This is indeed reason to sing a new song of praise to our God!