Well, today took a few unexpected turns. Though no less providential than yesterday's turns, they were a bit more exhausting.
Really, the turns started yesterday afternoon, as I drove myself home from my radiation treatments in Santa Fe. I suddenly realized that I could no longer focus my eyes, and felt a bit disoriented. I was able to pull quickly off on the shoulder, and by the time I stopped the car, it was over. Weird. Then this morning, as I took my morning walk, something similar happened: I couldn't focus my eyes, and started feeling a little dizzy, and looked down at the sidewalk to find I was already disoriented and off the sidewalk. I sat on the curb, and by the time i sat down, it was over, so I walked home. But since this was so strange and had happened twice, I decided I should probably ask someone about it.
The radiation techs thought it was a question for my oncologist or primary care. I left a message for my primary care, and talked to my oncologist's nurse on the way to radiation (thankfully, I was being driven by my friend Mary Ann!) On the way home from radiation, my primary care's nurse called, and told me I should make an appointment to see the on-call doc tomorrow. And my oncologists' nurse called to say she wanted me to come in at 2:15 for a brain MRI, and then still keep my ugly test appointment at 4:00. OK. Then I got home, and the primary care nurse called back and had made the appointment for me for tomorrow. And then the oncologist called and asked me to just get a ride straight to the emergency room. Her concern was that the tamoxifen I am taking can cause blood clot problems, and she wanted me thoroughly checked. She would cancel my 4:00 appointment and talk to the ER before I got there. So, Marilyn drove me to the emergency room, where I mostly waited. I did a short neurological run-down with the doc, had blood work done, and had a brain MRI, and also had rather high blood pressure reading (which was very uncharacteristic, and I wonder if it wasn't just White Coat Syndrome...). Marilyn walked over and canceled the appointment with my primary care, since they were giving me a pretty thorough going-over in ER, and Dave joined me for the duration (bless his heart!) All of the tests basically came back normal with no weird spots or problems, and they discovered I DO have a brain after all. I was turned out of the emergency room after about four hours with nothing but mounting bills for my time. I am supposed to "follow-up with my doctor", but it was already too late to do so today, so I will try to talk to her tomorrow. And I think I will stay out from behind the wheel of a car for a while, until I am sure these episodes are not becoming a regular thing.
So tonight I am exhausted. My dreaded test has been postponed until some time in the future. And I am just pooped. But God had purpose somewhere in today, and I am trusting Him for it, even though I don't see it at the moment.
Please pray:
* for rest and recovery as I complete my last two radiation treatments, Lord willing, tomorrow and Monday
*for no more eye/disorientation episodes
*for continued mild side-effects in the treatment area
*for wisdom when I talk to the doc tomorrow- both for my questions and her answers
*for no adverse side-effects from the tamoxifen (like blood clots)
*that the treatments I am receiving would be very effective against this cancer
*that I would be grateful for the care I am receiving and the grace God is extending me
*for a good night's sleep
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3 comments:
Sorry for your roller coaster ride. (I hate roller coasters.) Anecdote to ponder: a friend needed some "minor colon surgery" and duly made the arrangements for it and showed up (an hour from home) earlier this summer, only to find the hospital had no record of his scheduled surgery. So he had to go home (after a couple of days of distasteful prep, no doubt) and redo it later, and in the meantime he had a mission trip to a tropical, remote, rugged-terrain locale. He got home, had the surgery, and then two weeks later suddenly began to hemorrhage. His life was definitely in danger, but speedy medical care had him in good shape a couple of days later.
Thinking back over the botched appointment, he realized that if he had indeed had the surgery and then gone on his trip, he no doubt would have died from the same after-event, as he was in a remote mountain location on the day that would have followed his original surgery date.
God is good, even when we can't quite see how. Praying that your analytical mind (like mine) gets an answer or the peace that passes understanding.
With love,
Cindy
Amazing story, Cindy! I am learning not to care so much if my analytical mind understands it all, but to trust God anyway. Whether we see the reason or not, I am sure there is one. Perhaps that is part of the "peace that passes understanding"?
Well I could have told them you have a brain!!!! Seriously, I'm glad that there were no clots and we will pray that there will be no more incidents.
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