Within 15 minutes of posting my beautiful blog entry extolling God's grace and my resting in Him, I went to get dressed, and realized that the sight of my first surgery, where the lumpectomy had been done, was red and inflamed and completely changed from the night before. I called the surgeon, and he said to come up immediately, he would take a look. And I was transformed from a place of peace and trust to a quivering mass in no time. Oh me of little faith...The surgeon pulled out the largest syringe I have ever seen and said, "You'll feel a little prick..." and I thought..."I bet I will!" But, I am finding I have been poked and prodded so much that it doesn't seem to hurt too much anymore. He drew out many cc's of yellow fluid, slapped a big bandaid over the spot, sent the fluid off to be cultured, and sent me off with a prescription for an antibiotic.
In the space of a few minutes I went from peace to worry, when God had not changed at all. *Sigh* I am willing to bet I'm not the only one reading this blog who has experienced such an avalanche from the heights to the depths. I am just glad that God is the changeless one, who is ever patient with me.
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4 comments:
Yes, you are right on both counts, I've experienced lack living my beliefs, resting, and trusting and the subsequent knowledge of my frustration at my lack of trust and the relief that comes because of the gentle patience of Him who loves me beyond belief.
Praying for you.
Jenny
Dear Chris:
I am SO THANKFUL to God for you noticing this problem and getting right in to see the surgeon and on to the antibiotics. I am also thanking the Lord for your successful surgery this week & am continuing to pray the Lord keep you in His perfect peace and for a good report from the pathology. I can totally relate to the IV experience. It got so bad with me during my pregnancy that I ORDERED AHEAD of time that an anesthesiologist place my IV when I went into labor!
Sending love & prayers your way,
Lyn in NC
Oh, how I appreciate your transparency! Sometimes I am deceived into thinking I'm alone when my faith falters and fear takes over, so it's encouraging to know that people whose faith is so inspiring to me (you) feel overcome by the storms at times too! What an assurance that there is One who is always in control, Whose plans can't be thwarted, Who loves us and will do what's for our best even when it's impossible for us to see how. For me, I think God sometimes removes the option of self-reliance (or reliance on others) so that I have no choice but to have faith in Him...maybe that's how we all have to learn to walk by faith...?
We have been and will continue to pray for you and for your family.
Much love,
Shannon
It seems that when I have had a mountain top experience, I shortly thereafter experience the worst of my sin nature. The great thing is that God was there in the valley with me too.
It is hard to ignore difficult circumstances when they occur. The command to "rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice" has turned out to be a rubuke more often then not.
Glad the doctor was able to treat this infection, what more can I say, except I think you are doing great.
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