Afflictions and grace

"If you have shallow sorrows you will receive shallow graces. If you have deep afflictions you will obtain deeper proof of God's faithfulness."
~C. H. Spurgeon, Beside Still Waters

The commodification of life

Yesterday as I was resting, I found myself flipping through the pages of my mother-in-law's copy of Good Housekeeping Magazine. In its pages I found an article about a couple who had conceived a pair of twins via in-vitro fertilization. When the woman's eggs were harvested (after the hormone treatment to boost the number of follicles), the doctors harvested 18 eggs, which were then fertilized by sperm donated by her husband, and frozen. For this moment, let's leave aside the fact that if life begins at conception, which I believe is the only tenable position, we now had 18 human beings frozen in some sort of limbo. I find that horrifying and gruesome, but let's leave that aside for the moment.

The couple had three embryos placed in the woman's uteris, and two implanted: the twins she bore as a result of the process. Let's also leave aside for the moment the troubling fact that a life was created in a test tube that then died immediately, as a high percentage of these embryos do. That is also horrifying, but that is not my point, either.

This couple did a really rather commendable thing, and they are lauded as heroes in this article. When it came time to "dispose" of the remaining frozen embryos, the clinic gave them three options: they could either donate their embryos for scientific research, or donate them to an anonymous pool of embryo donors to be used for infertile couples, or they could pay a few hundred dollars to keep them in frozen storage. In the end, they found two specific families to donate the eggs to, and arranged a sort of "open adoption" for the embryos, which resulted in the births of two more sets of twins. I appreciate that this couple took some responsibility for these embryos, and tried to do a good thing in blessing other families. Again, let's forget for the moment that out of 18 babies, only six survived.

What amazed me was the following paragraph. Having been quoted by journalists, I would not presume that these words actually came out of the mouth of the egg donor, but either way, this is what was expressed:

Keeping their frozen embryos indefinitely did not seem a viable option to Glenda. And they were not the kind of people to throw money away on things they weren't going to use. She didn't have a moral objection to donating them to science. However, she and Scott had not made the embryos for research.

I had to read the paragraph three times before I could believe it. It's that second sentence:

"And they were not the kind of people to throw money away on things they weren't going to use."

The "things they weren't going to use" were babies.

I have read in the abstract about the commodification of human life: how we are beginning to think of our very selves and other human being as consumable items (commodities to be bought and sold). I have read about the pragmatism (if it's useful, it's good) that degrades the inherent worth of people, and heard philosophers and theologians moan about the pragmatic approach to human life. But I've never seen such a mainstream statement of it. It took my breath away.

I am not trying to pick on this couple. They tried, within their own framework, to "do the right thing". I understand the desire that leads to fertility treatments, and can empathize with the pain of infertile couples. But where is the Church? Why aren't we howling over the moral morass that has come from our immoral fertility business? Why aren't we leading in a better way?

I'm afraid God will send judgment on us, and deservedly so. How can so many people who claim the name of Christ see no problem here? That sends me to my knees.

I boldly come

This morning is one of those mornings when just getting up is a chore for me. Facing my day is overwhelming, and I don't really have anything I *have* to do. I keep finding my mind returning to the old refrain, "Is this really all God expects of my life-- that I struggle to rise, and stumble through the day trying not to complain, and accomplish little to nothing?" And these are my thoughts, even though I have little to really complain about. SO how will I get out of this pit?

Well, a response to yesterday's post here helped me to get my frame of mind on a better footing. (Thanks, Adri!) And the answer is the same old answer. Get my eyes off of myself. Get my eyes on Jesus. So come along, Gentle Reader, and reflect with me on just who this God is that we worship. The CD I mentioned yesterday is again playing as I write. Let me share another beautiful song with you:

I Come By the Blood by Steve and Vikki Cook

You are the perfect and righteous God
Whose presence bears no sin
You bid me come to Your holy place
How can I enter in
When Your presence bears no sin?
Through Him, who poured out His life for me
The atoning Lamb of God
Through Him, and His work alone
I boldly come

I come by the blood, I come by the cross
Where Your mercy flows
From hands pierced for me
For I dare not stand on my righteousness
My every hope rests on what Christ has done
And I come by the blood

You are the high and exalted King
The One the angels fear
So far above me in every way
Lord, how can I draw near
To the One the angels fear?
Through Him who laid down His life for me
And ascended to Your side
Through Him, through Jesus alone
I boldly come

So, with this song singing in my heart, I am going to sit in my comfy chair with my heating pad, and read God's word, and remember that He cannot love me less for my sin, nor more for my works. I will boldly come before my Lord, and give him my days, such as they are.

The Lamb I crucified

In evil long I took delight,
Unawed by shame or fear,
Till a new object struck my sight,
And stopped my wild career.

I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agony and blood,
Who fixed His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.

Sure, never to my latest breath,
Can I forget that look;
It seemed to charge me with His death,
Though not a word He spoke.

My conscience felt and owned the guilt,
And plunged me in despair,
I saw my sins His blood had spilt,
And helped to nail Him there.

A second look He gave, which said,
“I freely all forgive;
This blood is for thy ransom paid;
I die that thou mayst live.”

Thus, while His death my sin displays
In all its blackest hue,
Such is the mystery of grace,
It seals my pardon too.

~John Newton

Today is the first day of Lent, a time the Christian Church has traditionally contemplated the price Christ paid to accomplish our salvation. While I am not in favor of some legalistic observance of Lent, I am in favor of setting aside time in the regular course of our lives to comtemplate such things.

This wonderful hymn by Newton has been adapted to a beautiful contemporary tune by Bob Kauflin. I wept this morning as I sang it during my morning devotions. My sin nailed Him to the cross, and that blood He spilled paid for that sin. What an amazing moment of exchange! Mr. Kauflin adds the following words to the original hymn:

With pleasing grief and mournful joy
my spirit now is filled
That I should such a life destroy
Yet live by Him I killed

Forever etched upon my mind
Is the look of Him who died
The Lamb I crucified
And now, my life will sing the praise
Of pure atoning grace
That looked on me and gladly took my place

This beautiful hymn can be found on this CD, (and if you hurry, it is still on sale during the month of February. It is well worth the purchase!)

Reflections on God and man

I never have original ideas about God or man. I have to rely on the ideas of wiser men or women than myself for insight. All my greatest ideas are borrowed! And in the last week or so, I have run across a couple of ideas that I have found fascinating and encouraging, and that I hope you, too, Gentle Reader, will find illuminating.

The first was in our reading of Calvin's Institutes this week. Calvin is talking about God's providential care over all the created order, and the sticky wicket of evil: if God is really sovereign, isn't He the one responsible for man's sin? To this age-old question, he gives a brilliant illustration, which he in turn had borrowed from St. Augustine (so I am in good company in borrowing from others...) Just because God can expose evil, and even use it, does not mean it resides in him. Here is Calvin's illustration:

And whence, I ask you, comes the stench of a corpse, which is both putrefied and laid open by the heat of the sun? All men see that it is stirred up by the sun'd rays; yet no one for this reason says that the rays stink. Thus, since the matter and guilt of evil repose in a wicked man, what reason is there to think that God contracts any defilement, if he uses his service for his own purpose? Away, therefore, with this dog-like impudence, which can indeed bark at God's justice from afar off but cannot touch it.
~John Calvin, The Institues of the Christian Religion (1.17.5)

The second came from Volume 94 of the Mars Hill Audio Journal. I get so many great insights from listening to this! If you are not a subscriber, you ought to consider becoming one to support this excellent work. I always feel that is shakes the cob-webs from my brain. And they now have an option to receive the journal as an mP3 download, which is a bit more affordable than the other options.

I listened with joy and fascination to Jeremy Begbie's interview. He had many fun and interesting things to say, but the one that really struck me, and I can't for the life of me understand why it has never occurred to me, a music teacher, before is this: part of the problem we have with understanding the mystery of the trinity is that we tend to try to think of it in terms of vision. We are an image-driven society, and we try to visualize the trinity, but nothing in our visual vocabulary can really capture it. He suggests we turn to aurally imagining it, instead. He suggests that the trinity is better conceived of as a chord: we hear the notes separately, but also in combination. Each note enhances the others, and brings out the others, while remaining distinct. The over-tone structure of music enables each note to sound best in the company of the others. What a lovely picture!

So, Gentle Readers, as you go about your day, I hope you will ponder the justice of God, His providential care over us, and the mysteries of His Triune nature!

Coram Deo

This morning I woke up very early (around 5 a.m.) covered with hives. This has been a regular event for me at various times in my life, but it has been a couple of years since my last go-around. I am one of that class of people who are allergic to the antibodies my body produces when I have a respiratory illness. So the little episode of a week ago was the culprit, and now I am itching everywhere, swollen and aching, and taking more drugs. And to be honest, this feels a bit like something belonging to the "adding insult to injury" category.

I must admit that I started feeling pretty sorry for myself. I'm in the midst of struggling to recover from my breast cancer treatment, and it just seemed like a lot to face this morning. I mentioned my Job-like feelings to Dave this morning, and he gently reminded me that I haven't lost my children, and that boils are more painful than hives. There are times when Dave's faithfulness can irritate me, and it wouldn't be so irritating if he wasn't almost always exactly right.

This morning I read a short article by R. C. Sproul (thanks to T.C.) about the main goal of Christian life being to live coram Deo: before the face of God. He says, in part:

...To live coram Deo is to live one's entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God...

To live in the presence of God is to understand that whatever we are doing and wherever we are doing it, we are acting under the gaze of God. God is omnipresent. There is no place so remote that we can escape His penetrating gaze.

To be aware of the presence of God is also to be acutely aware of His sovereignty. The uniform experience of the saints is to recognize that if God is God, then He is indeed sovereign...

Integrity is found where men and women live their lives in a pattern of consistency. It is a pattern that functions the same basic way in church and out of church. It is a life that is open before God. It is a life in which all that is done is done as to the Lord. It is a life lived by principle, not expediency; by humility before God, not defiance. It is a life lived under the tutelage of conscience that is held captive by the Word of God.

Coram Deo . . . before the face of God. That's the big idea. Next to this idea our other goals and ambitions become mere trifles.

I suppose that hives are not exempt from this call on my life. So, I will spend a quiet day today, trying not to move the itchy and achy parts until the medicine helps bring my body under control again. I will try to please God where I am by humbling myself beneath his sovereign hand, and doing what would honor him. I will resist the strong temptation to throw a hissy-fit, and instead trust that what Satan means for evil, God means for good, even though I can't see what good may come of having the hives. Even with the hives, I need to live coram Deo.

Sundays with John

It strikes me sometimes that I live a very eclectic life. And having a post about John Calvin immediately follow a Weird Al post seems like the ultimate example of it!

Dave and I are settling into a nice rhythm of reading most night: after doing a few chores after supper, I sit in my comfy chair with my heating pad, he sits on the bed, and he reads to me from Calvin. We are enjoying it. And here are some of our favorite quotes from this week.

Since, then, we see the flesh panting for every subterfuge by which it thinks that the blame for its own evils may in any way be diverted from itself to another, we must diligently oppose this evil intent. Therefore we must so deal with the calamity of mankind that we may cut off every shift, and may vindicate God's justice from every accusation. (1.15.1)

…[T]hey may safely rest in the protection of him to whose will are subject all the harmful things which, whatever their source, we may fear; whose authority curbs Satan with all his furies and his whole equipage; and upon whose nod depends whatever opposes our welfare. (1.16.3)

…[L]et my readers grasp that providence means not that by which God idly observes from heaven what takes place on earth, but that by which, as keeper of the keys, he governs all events. Thus it pertains no less to his hands than his eyes. (1.16.4)

Therefore no one will weigh God's providence properly and profitably but him who considers that his business is with his Maker and the Framer of the universe, and with becoming humilty submits himself to fear and reverence. (1.17.2)

And it is indeed true that in the law and the gospel are comprehended mysteries which tower far above the reach of our senses. But God illumines the minds of his own with the spirit of discernment for the understanding of these mysteries which He has designed to reveal by his Word, now no abyss is here; rather, a way in which we ought to walk in safety, and a lamp to guide our feet, the light of life, and the school of sure and clear truth. (1.17.2)