Joy in terror and terror in joy

Well, Ben is having an adventurous spring/summer.  The most adventurous thing is, of course, that he and Elsa have a little one on the way.  But he also finished grad school for the time being, and now, he has a job! He and Elsa will be moving to Peoria, AZ (a suburb of Phoenix) for Ben to teach Latin to student in grades 5-10 at The Basis, a classical charter school.  This is a new campus of this school this year (they have established campuses in Tucson and Scottsdale) and so it should be quite an adventure.  We are grateful that God has provided a good position for him.

Ben has to be in Phoenix next weekend, so poor Elsa (who is doing well and not complaining) has to close up shop and get their townhouse on the market in Bloomington, and follow him later.  I hope to travel out and give her a hand in the next week or so, after  we return from our trip to Las Vegas and Tucson next week.

God is truly blessing us with an awful lot of adventure! And Ben has written a poem that reflects some of this blessing.  He told me, when he sent it to me, that these are the insomniac ravings of a classicist under pressure. I think they are delightful.

CONTEMPLATION by Ben Finnegan

There is joy in terror

and terror in joy.

To let on'e self

go--

on the one hand

not to understand

and on the other

to know all

too well.

To dwell in the 

interstices

of gnothi seauton

and charisma,

to straddle the borders of

willful ignorance

and unintentional

illumination.

There is terror in joy

and joy in terror.

Knowing and not knowing

why.  Feeling

and not touching.

Internalizing

and not grasping.

Joy for the end,

fear to pretend

to prepare.

A pair of ambiguities--

one hiding in fact

the other uncertain.

Fear of when,

joy of what

(or vice-versa or

why or who or where)

and there is joy in terror

and terror in joy.